As a leader, it is essential for you to have
highly developed people skills, especially when it comes to dealing with “emotionally” charged situations.
In today’s pressure laden workplace, tension,
stress and emotions lie at the heart of virtually every situation. Interactions
in the Boardroom and management meetings have become as heated as the Friday
night fights. When leaders allow their tempers to flare and their emotions to
influence their actions, the outcomes are certain to send a negative ripple
surging throughout the organization.
You need only recall former Toronto Mayor Rob
Ford barreling over a City Councilor during a city council meeting or the
recent Parliament brawls in Turkey, Ukraine and Britain’s House of Commons – To
be soberly reminded of the impacts of humanity’s negative potential, even at
the highest levels of leadership. When emotions run high, leadership will all
too often falter, thereby impacting performance, productivity and morale.
The circumstance which I am referring to,
serves as the basis for what the authors of the NY Times bestseller refer to as
“Crucial Conversations”. As you have experienced, crucial conversations occur
in personal life and business on a regular basis. These interactions range from
conflict resolution, providing constructive criticism, policy and procedure, compensation,
task assignments and differences of opinion, to name a few examples.
It is important to understand that there are three
specific components that comprise crucial conversations, which consist of:
●
The “stakes” are high (there is much at
risk).
●
Emotions run high (are emotionally
charged).
●
Opinions differ widely (lack of
consensus).
In most situations, as can be readily
understood, these crucial conversations and subsequent behaviors don’t usually
fare well. Crucial conversations typically have a pronounced negative affect on
personal well-being, organizational well-being and that of everyone else
involved.
The unfortunate reality is that you find
yourself in this type of conversational scenario on a regular basis. The
salient question for you to answer as a leader is… “How can I remain in control of my emotions, while diffusing these
crucial conversations?
As stressed by the authors of Crucial
Conversations, it is necessary to be crystal clear about what is important in
each given situation. This can best be accomplished by first determining what
is “important” to you as an
individual and as a leader. They suggest that you begin this process by answering
the following questions:
●
What do I really want for “myself”?
●
What do I really want for “others”?
●
What do I really want for the “relationship”?
After you have honestly arrived at answers for
these three questions, take a few more moments to answer this final question:
●
How would I choose to behave if I really wanted these outcomes?
Authentic leaders learn how to use this process
to bridle their emotions for the greater good of all parties. Their ability to
generate positive responses to these questions, helps them to reframe their
attitudes about crucial conversations while taking personal responsibility for
how they were initially feeling and reacting. Resultantly, calmer mindsets
ensued which provided a more constructive foundation on which to engage the
conversation.
A leader’s ability to become better grounded
and appropriately focused, ultimately sets a more positive tone for the crucial
conversation which thereby assists other participants to also engage with a
more positive and expective approach.
The development of right attitudes,
self-discipline and effective communication are essential competencies for
leaders who want to remain in control of their emotions while handling and
diffusing crucial conversations.
As your valued resource partner, we
can readily assist your organization, its leadership and your people with the
developmental training and processes that will help them to… Learn more… Do more… Become more.
Copyright © 2015 Developing Forward
| Thomas H. Swank, CBC
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